Life after Divorce
Is there life after divorce? Going through a divorce, regardless of the reasons, is an emotionally draining process. This article is aimed at those who didn't want the divorce; for those who wish they were still together with their partner, perceiving, as is often the case, that it is better to be in a relationship that isn't perfect than not be in a relationship at all. This article aims to help those affected by divorce who feel lost, worried about the uncertainty of the future.
Some of the common questions posed, particularly for a party who didn't want the divorce, are: "What am I going to do next?" "How am I going to survive financially?" "Will I ever get over it?" "Will I fall in love again?" What is life after divorce like?"
Although for some those issues are just a common and perfectly normal response to getting divorced, the reality is that it is often only you that can assist in the recovery process.
The very first hurdle to overcome is acceptance. This is obviously the biggest obstacle for those who would wish they were still in the relationship. It is very rare that couples get back together after a divorce. Start to develop a sense of acceptance that an irreversible change has occurred. This is undoubtedly the key to moving on and is something that is not going to happen overnight. Once you can overcome this hurdle, focus on avoiding self-blame. "What if I did this more, or that less, maybe…" These emotions will obviously feature, and feature heavily, but dwelling on them will be a bar to recovery and progression.
Next begin to ensure that you value your own self-worth. Also don't undermine yourself. Think of yourself exactly how your friends perceive you, no doubt a caring, loving kind hearted individual. You may well think "will I ever find someone like him/her again?" The answer to that shouldn't be "I hope so", it should be "of course I will, in fact I want someone better, I deserve it."
You should also believe in your own destiny. Sit down one day and grab a pen and paper. Write down where you feel you are now, why, and also where you'd like to be in the short, medium and long-term. Be realistic about it. Don't set short term targets which are really mid or long-term goals. Take your time, don't rush. Don't forget that getting over a divorce can feel like a grieving process. If you don't feel you can move on alone, talk to people. Divorce is not an embarrassing rare disease, it's an event experienced by an awful lot of people. When you begin to accept that you are not alone, your mindset can improve.
Finally, I would also strongly advise that you must never be or feel alone. Divorce is not to be viewed a failure. Your true friends and family won't judge you or your personal circumstances. They will understand, sympathise and embrace you. Surround yourself with the people close to you. They will help you achieve your vision for the future.
Is there life after divorce. You bet there is.
If you need any advice relating to a divorce or separation please contact us today in London (West Drayton) on 01895 449288 or in St Albans (Hertfordshire) on 01727 840900 on by email.